Saturday, February 21, 2009

My Friend, Fran...

You should visit her blog, she is a dear friend of mine that so far seems to have a good head on her shoulders!

http://www.savvyup.blogspot.com/

Here is a wise post, that I find very helpful by Fran...

 

Behold the Powers of an Attitude Adjustment!

I want to just comment on this:

VIDEO ON FRAN'S BLOG


This girl is probably the most talented young PNHer I know. Every time she puts a video out, I watch and my jaw drops. She's more consistent in drawing that effect in me than Pat and Linda are.
Anyway, more than being an awesome girl (She's 14, and that little chestnut with the star is a 2 year old!) with awesome relationship-building skills, Hannah's also a fantastic reminder of what I need to do for myself. She put up a post a couple days ago on her blog in which she talked about a question I had asked her. She had been struggling with her horse Blaze's attitude, even in undemanding sessions, and I asked her "Are you doing the undemanding time for him, or are you doing it because you feel like it's necessary to change him?" This is a question they asked us OVER AND OVER AND OVER at the center. Not specifically that, but more "Are you doing it for the horse, or TO the horse?". By the same token, we're constantly reminded that "It's not about the ___, it's about the relationship."
I suppose this is the first "growth" from the seeds planted in my head at the center, but this video, combined with that blog post, combined with what's happened at our farm the past few days REALLY got me thinking. I apologize if you have trouble following--I'm thinking in segues tonight, and have A LOT on my mind.
I digress (I promise I'll get back to it in a minute) I've been to the farm every day for hours at a time since I've been home, and I've been really hesitant to DO anything. Not entirely sure why, I'm still trying to figure it out, but I think it's because I'm honestly trying to acclimate and introduce my little piece of "Parelli bubble" to my "home bubble". I have all these thoughts and things I did at the center with my horse that I want to do at home, but I don't know HOW to do it. The Parelli Center is magical like that. People ask me "What'd you learn?", and I don't know! Or rather, I don't know how to express it! But it shows in the relationship with my horses. Prin has left the herd and whatever she was doing and come trotting and whinnying to me every day since I've been home. She's been BEGGING for me to play with her. And this behavior is starting to catch on Crest, too.
So, how does this connect with Hannah? I've seen a lot of task-orientedness since I've gotten home. Auditions being submitted only for a string, a list of tasks being checked off, a person asking what new "Things" I learned to "DO" with my horse, hell, even a fantastic young horse woman asking me "What can I do to make my horse do this?" Hannah's stuff represents to me someone making a conscious effort to be with her horse for the sake of a relationship (and from something I SAID!) and since being home, I'm seeing how much MY attitude has changed in the same way. My horse NEVER used to RUN to me (she's an LBI!) and talk like that! I want that so much more and appreciate that so much more. I'm really learning what it's like to truly "walk my talk", as the faculty would phrase it, and it feels so good!
I've been asked a dozen times "When are you submitting your audition?"...Audition? Oh yeah, that. Um...whenever I guess? Make no mistake, I'm still intent on passing my L3, and L4, but more important than that right now is establishing that relationship right now. I've realized that I don't want to look back on my L3 journey and go "My God, where did it go? I put my horse through hell for the sake of a string, and WHY?!"
Tying in a little, Kristi Smith, an instructor on the faculty, and a newly-found personal mentor of mine, gave me some fantastic advice in one of a couple really great conversations we had. She said (and this is the gist, not verbatim) "Fran, I look at you and I see a huge drive, talent, and lots of dedication, but you've got to slow down and just LIVE YOUR LIFE, lady! You have MAYBE 2 years of your 'childhood' left, if you STRETCH it. The fact that you are who you are is awesome, you've found your passion, but slow down and appreciate it a little! Go play with your horse! Have some fun!" Have some fu---WHAT?! No, no time for that! It's about my goals and my future! It's about the stri--NO IT'S NOT!
So. Fran is no longer going to be on a quest for a damn green string. Farrah made her point quite clearly "I have two, want to borrow one?" No, I don't, I want to earn my own. The string represents a great relationship, not a bunch of well-performed tasks. That's the green string I want.
And this is not to say I'm not concerned with my future anymore. No, that's still really important to me. But I have a much renewed faith in that if I build a strong relationship base now (and not just with horses, but with the people surrounding and influencing me too!) when I'm 21 years old, I won't have to work my tail off to get where i need to, because it will have falling into place as I went along.
Savvy on. I'm going to do something with my horses tomorrow, I think. Lord knows they've been begging!
Thanks for reading, and again, sorry to be so scattered. As I said earlier, one of the planted seeds in my head just burst into full growth.

Kick me in the hind end why not! What a kick in the stomach! I love you Fran. Yes, I am going to go film my Liberty. Yes, I am goal oriented. Yes, yes YES! Dang it!I have a different outlook on it all. I have already started the process of getting the green string, and it will be over this week. Once this is finished, I am going to dedicate the rest of the year to making our relationship better. I just can't do that when I have Pat's voice in my head saying "Get that green string!". Thank God in heaven that I will be done pursuing that green string this week after YEARS, and can dedicate the next forever to our relationship without a monkey on my back! Thank you so much for the kick in the guts Franners, it is going to make a huge change in our relationship. Hug and kiss to you!

1 comment:

Fran said...

I know for a fact (he told me this himself!) that Pat would respect you more for waiting, and putting the relationship first. Or, even better, film your L3 liberty and freestyle WHILE putting the relationship first. If it doesn't go well, SHOW that you care more about the relationship than the audition :)

He tried to convince me to audition while I was there, and I told him point blank "I don't think the relationship is there yet, and plus, I'm learning, and I don't want to lose focus on that." and he said "I respect that decision. I respect it A LOT. VERY savvy, Fran."

Thank you for responding to my post, and I'm glad I have given you some food for thought :)