Well my dears, here I am, Truly writing a post for the first time as a mother, a mother of two. I know you can only imagine the journey we have been through to make my posting so absent and to be posting only now, But, to say the least - there is a totally different woman typing behind this screen, yet the same person. I am sitting here in the middle of a beautiful town, twenty minutes from my horses, windows open letting the beautiful breeze into our home. I have my little Sephorah, of 2 years, on my left, drinking on milk and munching on cinnamon toast, and my Jesse, of 6 months, in his swing babbling happy and pulling at his toys - drooling with his first two beautiful little teeth peeking out... reminding his mommy that he is growing so fast! Gabe is out working a job that he is in love with, changing peoples lives everyday without exaggeration and physically getting better every day. We are looking at a relaxing day, as I take it easy trying to recover from some long term health problems, We are looking at walks, chickfila, reading books, painting, target, naps, laundry, and dishes. But best of all, we are looking forward to more snuggles, more firsts, more bonding. As I am the only one of the three of us that seems to know that life goes by far too fast, and the young ones stay small for too short of a time.
No, I am not a Parelli instructor at the moment... my mission in life was to make peoples and horses lives better. And that's what I am doing, and I am far happier than I ever would be as a Parelli instructor right now. Because I cannot see how being a Parelli instructor could have stretched me this far and taught me about myself than what I have been through the past three years, and I am far more thankful for it than I can express. This hard road was not a road to damage me, but to heal me from hurts that I did not even know were there. What has pushed me has caused me to realize just how strong I am, and just how much God loves me. He gave me these trials because He loves me, He knew I could never realize my full potential unless He pushed me into the fire to refine me - for that I am ever happier and closer to His heart.
Right now my life consists of so many things - and all in the name of never ending self-improvement, of course! First, I am a wife and mom. Hardest yet the COOLEST job ever, and I am not kidding you. I know when you're young you look at moms and say, "Oh how lame, I want to do more than that!" I know I did, and I wish I could have given my younger self a good talking to. Yeah, you go do more than that if you want, but being a mom will always be harder and push you farther - as it causes you to take a look at your bare naked soul and be as selfless as you can ever fathom. At least for me it did. If you want to do more than that, be a selfless mother and go accomplish something big in life career wise... that is something to be proud of, and that is what I am striving for as I want to be the best mother possible. I know I am not the best mom but what matters is how much I am trying and how bad I want to be the best for them. I do not want to look back on my life and regret the times I did not spend with my children giving them the best life possible, praying over them, reading the bible to them, and taking the time it takes - too many children in this world are being set aside for careers and success and my children will not be one of them. Careers come and go, but children are our legacy - what will your legacy say about you when you are far gone?
On top of that, making a FUN, safe, and clean home for the children and the hubby... that is hard but it is fun! It's like setting up your horse's paddock and play pen, make sure they have what they need to thrive but children are far harder to clean up after, ha ha! :-) But far more fun.
Secondly, I am helping our family church. On the road to teaching here very soon as soon as I get the materials and curriculum together, singing, managing the nursery and the church blog. If you'd like to read some of the teams posts, along with my own, click on the links on the left hand side of this screen.
And last are my hobbies, which I thankfully get to do very often. I have learned many skills since I have written last! Sewing, running, crocheting, painting, more writing, home making, cooking, web design, and much more. I work with horses about two times a week right now, with Michael, hopefully more as we are looking to move about five minutes away from the horses before July rolls around which is very exciting for us! It was very encouraging to meet someone who has been following my blog since 2008, at Michael's barn last Saturday, a very sweet lady from Maine... it did my heart good to know I am still somehow encouraging some individuals.
Sundance spent the winter in North Carolina with my brother, killed two birds with one stone, Christian got to ride and Sundance dodged the harsh winter here. I told him he deserved to get a break and go home and see his buddies, after all he has done for me. He will be coming back here within the next few weeks as Michael and I are looking into taking lessons for eventing, which we are both very much looking forward to.
I am hoping some of you are still out there reading, listening, following. let me know you are there if you wish! I am looking to relaunch this blog as I get back in the saddle of life... so be looking on posts, of many, containing horse related content but much more than just that. If you like, I have a poll set up on the bottom right hand side of the screen asking your opinion on what content you would like to see on the blog. Feel free to supply your opinion through poll or comment, I have SO much to share with you! I cannot wait to post again, but I must restrain myself as I could stay on this screen and type practically forever! :-) Blogging is an outlet for me to let go of and learn from the past, feel like I have a centered friendly place to speak my heart, and to learn from myself and others... so the more I hear from you the better to be honest. It's an outlet for my need to speak and to write without feeling judged or rejected, and in the hopes to somehow help someone I could never otherwise touch, so please bear with me... please join me.
Tenderly,
Mariah XOXO
